Psh, are you kidding me?

I attempted to write this reply on Josiah's wall, but it wouldn't fit after he so wittily wrote to me, "You'd better not be sleeping in my king size bed." cuz, I am so vain and long for people to, "look at me, look at me," I decided to post this blog. (Notice how I tried to "water down" my narcissism, by playing up that I am so vain.)

I'll have you know, sir, the bar has been raised. Let the dueling (banjos) begin!

Psh, are you kidding me? Well, let me preface that, "Psh are you kidding?" I was sleeping in your bed regularly. Shoot, I was spending most of my time in your bed. Isn't "in" when referring to your bed (specifically) funny? You have like one duvet. and when I am underneath that while on top of your bed I am actually "in" your bed. ...anyway back to my story, last Thursday I was doing the crossword puzzle while eating a bowl of lentil soup on your bed and spilt a bit of it onto it, now I took some of your dress shirts to sop up the soup broth and this worked. At least, I think it worked...

Three days later I came back home after a long day of worked, it smelled like a small rodent died in the house. After throwing up in my mouth a little. I tracked the smell back to your room. It seems that lentil soup smells like dead rodent if it sits! Anyway, I tried all types of cleaners; pine-sol, windex, bleach and ammonia (funny story about bleach and ammonia for another time and another day... let it be known that I have a headache that just won't go away, but I am well rested if that is a payoff)... speaking of won't go away, that smell was resilient... not only was that smell not gone, but you had this weird chemical smell that was just perched on your bed... or should I say "in" (lol).

I am persistent, but after trying to get that smell out for several hours it wasn't going away. So I asked Salvation Army if they would come pick it up (they said it was "cool, but I would have to throw in the [exterminate] colored fitted sheet.).

Funny thing, that smell was still in your room. I thought that I had a, "Cat in the Hat Comes Back" on my hands, until I checked inside your piano. There WAS a rodent inside your piano. I guess he/she had decided that he/she was going to tickle your ivories, until he/she died inside said piano that he/she was tickling. After throwing up a little from excitement of finding the epicenter of the smell (well, maybe it wasn't out of excitement, but the sheer intensity of the smell, I removed the rodent and live and let die another day.

So the, "Psh, are you kidding me?" makes more sense, huh? but given the information you now know, it would make more sense if I were to say, "Psh are you kidding me? I can't sleep in your bed because it is no longer in mine or your possession! Case A scenario: A family of four have been using it to and are eternally grateful for your charity work. Case B scenario A "family" (only in name) of four have been "using it" (storing drugs, guns, jugs magazine, etc... in it) and are "eternally grateful" (lets face it, couldn't care less) for your charity work."